NEW YORK, NY – Since the great Rap War of the late 90s ended only after actual blood was shed, concern is growing over the vitriolic feud between the East and West Coast mobile vendors. The most recent round of hostilities began with a series of disses by the West Coast crew’s most vocal representative, Apple’s Phil “FillaUp” Schiller. “The GS4 is tired! We are talkin’ one year old before you even get it out the box”.
In the events leading up to the GS4 launch, Samsung’s Mobile EVP, Lee Young “Young M-hee” Hee threw down a street dance-off in New York, a challenge that went unanswered by Apple. Although the friction attracted NYPD attention, Young M-hee made certain that the GS4 launch went off without a hitch.
Not to be outdone, FillaUp used the Apple website to throw down a diss page directed squarely at Samsung. The resultant hail of pixelated bullets hit a bit too close to home for BlackBerry CEO Thorsten “T-Tonik” Heins, who vehemently rejected inclusion in the “Everything Else” category. “Android is the prize you get when you lose the game. Straight up – Android is the participation ribbon of mobile phones” , said an unusually excited T-Tonik. “ I mean, who would you rather have pimpin’ your product? Alicia Keys or PSY?”
While the cooler heads seem to be prevailing at the moment, it doesn’t take a rap genius to know that the entire industry is nervously awaiting the next flare-up — ever hopeful it will continue to be a war exclusively of words.